fat girl starving for perfection

I fear for her life

I look at her sadly trying not to cry.

but only I can can see what she tries to hide.

she doesn't want to hurt me, but she didn't want me to know,

she told me she was on a diet and was going strong.

but her diet turned into a competition and I knew it was wrong.

a few carried on starving and others gave up sooner.

the other girls kept becoming dizzy, tired and deeling really sick,

she was feeling light like a feather as if she could walk on air.

one day she took a shower and noticed she was losing her hair.

this didn't stop her she wouldn't give up she wouldn't retreat.

all her friend I told her it was stupid that id tell if she didn't eat.

she wanted to be a size zero and have it fall off her hips.

it had been months since food passed her lips

even the thought of food makes her ill

then she collapsed time stoped

oh help her one girl cired

starving for perfection the young girl had died.

Shes not as strong as you think

There's this girl I know, she feels unknown, unwanted.

She just want's feel wanted, cries on her own,

she has nobody to go to she feels so scared,

doesn't wanna go to college, cried in bed. she has a couple friends

they think she's okay, but the pain inside her haunters her day by day.

she's thought about giving up, doesn't see the point, she just wants happiness but

emotions disappoint. she always blame's her self for every thing that

 happened and every little trouble that she's ever had. its driving her mad.

The pain she endures you can see it through her shirt,

hiding the scars of society's burns.

 

She hides herself from everyone, no one hears her cries,

If only you could see the world through her eyes, all she wanted was for someone

to be her friend. To stick by her side untill the very end.

She didn't ask for a lot, honestly nothing at all.

yet she was still hit around and called a fool. she just wanted some love  and when she as lonely just one hug. To feel accepted for the way she looked, instead of

being pushed around, left out ad being rejected.

She's got to stay strong because she hopes nothing lasts forever.

 

But she can't take it anymore, she's take enough, been strong for so long but she

ain't really that tough. She was scared of letting go but no one seems care.

scared to carry on because no one was there. A frustrated girl hiding her scars,

fighting her fears behind spiritual bars she arranged.

One day I saw her face, she showed it with a smile but I could tell it was fake.

She broke down in tears and said I saved her life, 

Crying she asked can she be my wife. I answered what's wrong, she told me everything I was shoned.  

 

Then she was gone before I had a change to save her, she disappeared. she was no fool and no one blamed her for anything in fact they balmed them selves. people noticed her cries,

they just didn't want to believe that she was so hurt.

 

I never got to tell her I loved her...

 

The Girls Mask

she's great, fine and good. In a way she relishes every night,
she lives every day, she laughs, writes and sings,
she wonders what the days will bring her.

Then she gets home, takes off that mask,
The day is almost an impossible task,
Its finally over, she lays down and waits patiently for the day she dies.

she cries, she screams, bawls and sleeps even though she promises to keep.
she waits and wonders and cry's some more,
and she aches and burns from her very core.

Then, she's not alone, so the mask reappears,
out goes the grief, pain and all of her tears,
as she is a happy person, cheerful all the day.
A world full of rainbow, not one shade of grey.

Of course she's not okay, she's not fine,
No matter how much she seems to shine
She doesn't even know why she feels this,
Why her existence is one long endless lullaby

But it is and will be, so she clings to life,
As one day she might slip and end it with a knife.
But, she's still here, no matter what her dreams might say,
And she hopes that one say she will actually be okay..
 

that girl you see

That girl you see full of smiles and laughs
you think she's confident and loud,
you believe her when she says she's okay.

what would you say if I told you it was all fake and just an act. that smile you see everyday she paints on to see yours shine. what if I told you, she believes there's no hope for her, she hasn't got any self confidence or self esteem, she hates every single thing about herself, she feels alone, unwanted, scared, she believes she's not good enough and that her best will never be good enough, she hates looking in the mirror because her reflection makes her feel sick, her head controls everything she does, she has no say in what happens. she hides her cries, cuts, scars and herself behind a door she kept locked but it doesn't block out the angry voices in her head.

That girl you see smiling and laughing in class and in the hall ways,
you believe that's real right?
you think she is happy and her life is good.

wrong again. every night behind that door she thinks about giving up. every night she tells her self, she serves no purpose, no one cares, she's better of dead, she's worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, disappointment, disgusting, no body loves you, you need to stop eating, you need to be quiet. she doesn't want to be here anymore she thinks its the only way out. she's thinking why is no body saving her from this monster and self destruction, but then she realised that she's all alone and no body cares enough to save her from this self hate.

what you didn't know is that today she was going to end it all, all the pain and hurt days before her 17th birthday. she knew she couldn't carry on being the girl everyone knew and  disliked. she's tried for so long to fit in but she couldn't no matter how hard she tried. her new plan is to sit there quietly until she is ready to leave. that jacket she always seems to wear have you wondered why she hates taking it off? ever thought what is it she is hiding? she's hiding her self destruction so that you think she is okay because she knows no one understands.

That girl in your class always smiling, laughing and pretending she is confident and she is happy with her self.
That girl you see always wearing that jacket hiding her cuts and scars.
That girl you don't care or worry about.

All she wants is for someone to say I know your not okay, im here I promise. she wants someone to help her so bad! she thought that she could deal with this on her own but she was wrong.

that girl you see that is me...

if you can also replace she with I, im here for you, to listen to you, ill try my best to help you!
 

bars and melody stay strong lyrics

 Oh yeah
Whoa oh


 There’s this girl I know, she feels unknown
Just wanna have attention, cries on her own
Got nobody to go to she feels so scared
Doesn’t wanna go to school, cries in her bed
She got a couple friends they think she’s okay
Inside the pain haunts her, day by day
She still hasn’t given up, she doesn’t see the point
She just wants happiness but emotions disappoint
She blames herself, it drives her mad
For every single little trouble that she’s ever had
The pain she endures you can see it through her shirt
Bearing the scars of society’s burns

 No more pain
No more tears
There’s no need to cry no more there’s nothing left to fear
No more pain
No more tears
You don’t need to lie no more cause’ now you know we’re here

 She hides herself, no one hears her cries
If only you could see the world through her eyes
All she wanted, is one little friend
To stick by her til the very end
She didn’t ask for a lot, in fact nothing at all
Yeah she was still hit around and called a fool
She didn’t wanna fight
She just wanted some love
When she was lonely just one hug
And to feel like she was accepted
Instead of pushed around, left out and rejected
You gotta stay strong nothing lasts forever
You are never alone, we’ll do this together

 No more pain
No more tears
There’s no need to cry no more there’s nothing left to fear
No more pain
No more tears
You don’t need to lie no more cause now you know we’re here

 She can’t take it no more
She’s taken enough
She’s been strong for so long but she ain’t that tough
Scared of letting go but no one seems to care
(Yeah)
Scared to carry on cause’ there’s no one there
A frustrated girl, bearing the scars
Fighting her fears behind spiritual bars
One day this girl, I saw her face
She messed it with a smile (I could tell it was fake)
She broke down in tears, said I saved her life
Crying, she asked, “Can I be your wife?”
I answered, “Hey there girl, tell me what is wrong”
She told me everything so I dedicate this song

 No more pain (don’t cry)
No more tears (no more tears running down your face)
There’s no need to cry no more there’s nothing left to fear (no more pain)
No more pain
No more tears
You don’t need to lie no more cause’ now you know we’re here

Ooooooo
No more…
Ooh ooh

A fans message for Sam Bailey

This sort passage was written by @storm_diva_army on twitter. she admires Sam Bailey and is such a huge fan! as i am also a big Sam Bailey fan i want to share with you guys how much Sam means to us! love you bails.... 

@sambaileyreal where do I start, you have been through so much and you still manage to come out back on top again. I admire you for that. You have inspired me so much. you have shown me to be myself and follow any type of dreams. From the moment you stepped onto my TV screen, you started to talk I thought to myself "I love this woman" I loved your bubbly personality, then you started to sing in front of the judges then that is it, I started to cry. Got what you was trying to say though singing. From then on, I supported you all the way though your x factor journey, voted none stop. I loved being on your journey with you from the beginning and I am still loving the journey with you. You have the most beautiful, stunning, gorgeous children ever. Brooke, Tommy and miley moo are just a credit to you. Your husband is an amazing bloke, one of a kind you don't see a nice, loving, polite bloke then Craig. The support you get from your family and also from your friends/fans too. Who have been there with you from the start and you picked up some more fans too. It just seems to grow and grow from different countries/cities and also across the pond too. Sam you are just incredible woman! So glad you came to do the x factor and had another go. So glad you make music to inspire me and other people too. One of a kind so special. Can't wait for new stuff/new material. PS am coming to see you in Swansea so get polishing your boots 😘. Also might be coming to see you in panto. Get ringing some contacts to get you to Ellen show/strictly/corrie/EastEnders lol. I love ya always here to support you no matter what. Am not going know where. Keep doing what you are doing. you are Doing everyone proud around you. 😘😘😘

self harm awareness day 2015

its the 1st march 2015 (in the uk) and it is self harming awareness day.
we want to get a cross that there are many people out there that self harm
both men and women.

its show that self harmers start in early adolescents between the ages of 11 and 15 years! personally I think this statistic is quite worrying. knowing that children as young as 11 are starting to hurt them selves. we need to make children/ young people more aware of how to talk to someone they trust or an adult about how they are feeling, so that they don't fall into the routine of self harming.we wont stop everyone but we should at least try to.

This is something that people get scared or embarrassed to talk about either in general or with their children because some parents may think well If I talk about it to them then they will have that idea in their head and they will try it, but if parents spoke about it in away that they child knows its not a good idea to hurt themselves and they must tell an adult how they are feeling. then they will have control over how they deal with their feelings. (i'm not for a minute saying that if parents did talk about it that their child will never try it do it but its the possibility that they could prevent their child from doing it)
but it happens and we need to help the people who have fallen captive of this. sometimes its harder for people how do self harm to discuss it and that's normal. so for people who haven't self harmed stop being embarrassed about it, it is nothing to be embarrassed about, there are hundreds of young people and even adults  who need our help to over come this and make children and adults more aware of this!


also we want to let the self harmers know that there are people out there that can help and support them and that they are never alone with this battle. if your reading this and self harm, there are people online who can help you  if you don't like or you struggle to talk to people face to face. here are a few childline 1-1 counsellor link to talk to someone at childline:http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Chat/Pages/OnlineChat.aspx and this second link is for any advice about self harm... http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Self-harm/Pages/about-self-harm.aspx there is also young minds: http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_children_young_people/whats_worrying_you/self-harm?gclid=CjwKEAiAjsunBRCy3LSlz_PJqCgSJACJY7yKn1GSYvsIflDUIKo9TzA19fi_mmQds7_4LA7besz9ahoCb6Hw_wcB
 get connect:   http://www.getconnected.org.uk/get_help/harming_yourself/self_harm?gclid=CjwKEAiAjsunBRCy3LSlz_PJqCgSJACJY7yK2JB7MLBzjZzVxxR9rark-1kveUR55VDEUFPnKuV6ExoCn3Lw_wcB
and mind: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/?gclid=CjwKEAiAjsunBRCy3LSlz_PJqCgSJACJY7yKODN-WwbUiLjFEGTlhekBEGYsTxM0AmygQ0aI5SzbyhoCfmTw_wcB#.VPM5Uj5FDIU

I hope those link help you! you can fight this battle you can believe it and you will achieve it..keep fighting... if any of you have twitter and want to contact me through that if you need to talk my name is @tia_bailanator don't be scared to DM me just do it, I will try my best to help you, support you and give you the best advice I can!

never stop fighting your battle

I don't know your battle or story or you,
but what I do know is that you, yes you are stronger than you think,
you know you can push through this you just don't fully believe it so you feel like giving up.

your future is awaiting you. you may think that you don't have a future but you do everyone does. you can make your future anything you want it to be!
im going to speak from my heart and own experiences now,
I thought that I don't have a future and that I should give up trying to make one because I believed that I will not succeed and so therefore I would have a rubbish future not even one that would be worth living.
things were pretty bad, but I pushed through it even when I thought I couldn't.

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for people in college supporting me through that day and helping me, there was one teacher who was always there for me no matter what and i cant thank her enough for helping since day one!

there are people there for you, i know you don't believe it but there are.
this may be your battle but people make it their battle to, so that they can help and support you.
your perfect in your own way and the people that matter will love you for you.

don't stop fighting your battle..

adrienne and fern - daughters of davis

I'm dedicating this post to Adrienne and Fern...

I want you to know how special and how much you mean to me

 

These two beautiful girls are just amazing,

they are always there for you if you need a chat and a cheering up!

I'm so thankful to them as their music is amazing!!

nearly all the songs have a meaning behind them which I really like

 

you girls are true inspirations
I look up to you both and wish I could be like you
your voices are incredible
you're one of the best things that I gained from seeing Sam Bailey on tour!
you make me look at things differently
 

I think I would be lost if I didn't know about them!

they believe that everyone is beautiful, no matter what their race, gender or size etc.

they have been through tough times them selves and have come out on top every time and I have so much respect for them, especially Adrienne telling her fans something  personal and creating a song around it! not many artists would so that!

 

Adrienne and Fern both have amazing voices and they have fabulous personality's!

if it wasn't for these two girls my best friend would have given up by now,

everyone could relate to at least one of there songs and some people could relate to them all.

they are just so touching and when you know the meaning behind them it makes them more special and pulls at your heart strings even more.

 

when I need a good cry or if I'm feeling down I listen to these and they always cheer me up after I've sobbed!

I don't fully know the meaning or story behind the song 'the trade' but the lyrics make me think of when I would wish I didn't have my life I had someone else's.

 

the amount of determination that these girls have is great! they can do anything, and I love them even more each day!

go and listen to them you wont regret it, go see what you've been missing out on all there song are on YouTube too!

love you girls from your twitter friend tia_bailanator xx

Footprints....by daughters of davis

This particular song does keep me going, the meaning behind this song is very touching! its saying if you are having a hard time or suffering with any illness, that there are people that are there for you! your not alone, so carry on fighting your battle. the battle will end soon, keep going! everything will be okay in the end and if its not okay then its not the end! here if you need a chat! x

footprints:

you missed breakfast again, is the sickness setting in?
you searched the kitchen to take anything to medicate
you didn't start your car, another push forward too far
you just sat in your drive, till the sky lost all light
it's the same everyday, its this deepening dark grey
till it's black to your soul, but there's someone who's knows saying...

that you're never alone, see my footprints in the sand
if you fall ill take your hand and ill carry you if you cant stand
see you're never alone even when you're on your own
in the bitter cold, even the blind, bolt the door shut behind
every bad turn in life, turned you further inside...

oh when you pray in dark, saying oh, lord where do I start?
you may feel no one cars, but do you know that he's there saying,
oh when you're doubtful, reach out your hand
sometimes your feelings do lie, but just trust that voice inside saying
no you're never alone...

The trade....by daughters of davis

I haven't wrote on here for while as I've been busy with college work!
but I had to share this amazing song and get these girls recognized by people!
This is one of the many songs that touch me every time I listen to it, this song is just perfect, have you dreamt of trading your life? please go listen to these girls and support them with the rest of their fans! all there songs are on YouTube head over there now and see what you've been missing out on! thank you x

The Trade:

I saw her dress, just dressed to impress
I saw  lipstick, lips perfect to kiss
for some reason it played me for a while
I couldn't stop thinking of her smile
do you ever dream of trading your life?
cause if you want to you can have mine.
don't be deceived by what you see on the outside
to every story there is always another side....

she said if you want you can buy my soul
but lets shake on it before I say anymore
for some reason I quickly gave in
I made the deal no hesitating
do you ever dream of trading your life?
cause if you want to you can have mine.
don't be deceived by what you see on the outside
to every story there is always another side another side
but only when I has signed on the line
she really told me of her life
she said "my daddy died when I was 5, I've had an eating disorder all my life
I cant keep love, make ups my disguise....

and not one person stayed by my side
do you ever dream of trading your life?
cause just maybe I will keep mine
don't be deceived by what you see on the outside
to every story there is always another side
do you ever dream of trading your life? 
cause just maybe I will keep mine
don't be deceived by what you see on the outside
to every story there is always another side (x2)