love the skin your in

we all have thing's that we dislike about our selves.... but what we don't take in to consideration is that the things we don't like, other people love and tell us to love it too!

we are never going to be happy with every single part of our body... but we can change most of those things, if we really want to... and you should only do it for you , no one else...

There is always going to be things we don't like about us... an some of them we can't change, so we have to learn how to love them...

The biggest problem we all have is the size of our clothes... we are not happy being the size we are... but think about it would you be happy being a size zero?... 'your the beautiful one, society is the ugly one'

' stop hating yourself for everything you aren't, start loving yourself for everything that you are'... love the skin your in.. you can change it when you want!....

love the skin your in ! 

how i feel today?

Today... i feel like i've let you down..

You mean everything to me, but you don't know.. i wish you did...

All i want to do is curl up in a ball and cry !...

You make me so happy an make me smile, even when you ain't trying, when you do i fell like you actually want to make me happy...

Today... i wish i could turn back time, so i can do things different... but i can't, 

I do want to make you proud of me, i try all the time, your all i think about...

I didn't think that i could feel like this so quickly... everything was going great, i felt great and then it all changed in a blink of an eye...

Today... i set out to make you proud.. but failed  you told me to have a good day, i promised i would.. but blew it!...

I feel like i've messed everything up once again, why can't i ever just be the person i want to, an not the person i use to be... sick of always being the girl that cries all the time...

Today's been a bad day!

My sexuality does not change me

My sexuality does not change who i am, 

I'm still me i don't change just because my sexuality does,

I'm not going to act any different...

Tic toc it's only in a matter of time that you'll question yourself who, what, when, were, how... 

who am i? why am i ?

I'm not going to act any different, 

just because i'm gay,

I will still act the same way....

The only thing that has changed is my feelings,

i know that people won't like it 

 but it doesn't matter who you are ! 

My sexuality does not and will not change me,

now you know you may think i'm acting different but

i'm not...

I cant change even if i tried,

even if i wanted to,

And I can't change

Even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

My love

My love

My love

she keeps me warm,

she keeps me warm, 

she keeps me warmm...

My sexuality does not change me !.......

friend!

you claim i'm your friend and that you are always there for me, well what about when you go off and ignore me?!...what about then?

you know what i'm going through and you understand that, but what you don't understand is that you are hurting me too...
i can't tell you because i don't want to upset you....

i wish that i could change the way i am and not to be so mean to you at times but i can't help it, you upset me that much
i don't know how to treat you...

sometimes its like i'm not even your friend when you are with them, ha some friend you are at times! but saying how i really feel to you is hard! 

knowing you know whats wrong with me makes it harder for me not to  be friends with you, you are giving me the perfect advise and great complements but you are not proving that you really 
are my friend...

things seem to be going totally the wrong way and you go make everything ten times harder for me, well i'm not going to be the person that everyone just walks all over any more, i'm going to say exactly how i really feel and who i am from now on and i don't want anything to do with you ! 

i've learnt

so these last two days i have learnt that i can not trust the people i thought i could, 
i just wish that i could tell people the truth but thanks to yous i can not tell people myself...

i wish that things could of gone a different way,
so many things have made me think that i should just tell people
but then i don't want to because i'm too scared...

I always over think everything, i know that it won't be as bad as i am thinking it will but it is going to be horrible...
if only i could just take it all on the chin like other people can!...

I've learnt that i should only trust the people that trust me, not people that don't!

just wanna believe in me !

you say i need to believe in myself well... it's not that easy with everything going on in my head, you say i need to have my confidence that i had 6 months ago but how can i do that when people don't treat me like i should have any...!

I don't wanna be afraid

I wanna wake up feeling beautiful..today

And know that I'm okay

Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways

So you see, I just wanna believe in me...

The mirror doesn't lie it always shows you how other people see you...you say i'm strong but i'm not, I'm not about to break down.. not today i guess i always knew, i can find the strength to make it through this!...

I'm losing myself trying to compete with everyone else.. instead of being me..Don't know where to turn.. I've been stuck in this routine.... i need to change my ways instead of always being weak!!....

You've made me realize how much i have  changed and for the better and now i'm just messing things up in more ways then one...

you have made me think about how i should be and i am very grateful for that.. i don't always believe what people say because i've been so use to have nasty things said to me...

But lately everyone has been so kind and so understand...an i just wanna believe in me...Not gonna be afraid

I'm going to wake up feeling beautiful..today

And know that I'm okay

Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways

So you see, now, now I believe in me <3 

My Slimming World Journey So Far

my slimming world journey so far has been one of the best things i have ever done in my life, i have met some amazing people who has always been there for me no matter what...

I have had ups and downs, put weight on loss weight but you can not have a weight loss journey without the gains, but it always makes you stronger to do better next week...

no one has ever judged me, i couldn't wish for a better consultant, she's been there when i needed help, when i thought i couldn't do it when i could 1 she would always encourage me to do well and not always come in with a weight loss...

there is also another person that has been there for me when ever i have needed advise, shes helped me threw soo much this last year and half...

but honestly i would not change a thing, Its always the down weeks that will boost your confidence for the week a head... when i first put weight on it was horrible and i felt disappointed  but when then it became much easier to deal with...

NEVER GIVE UP !!! its the best thing you could ever doo ! 

song: all i do is think of you

All i do is think about you and your smile,
i think of you everyday
you  make me smile, make me laugh..

you really don't know how much i love you,
you have made me become who i am...
your words mean everything to me, just like you..

i want you to know this but it't not that simple,
cause i don't think i'm strong enough yet,
i wish you could see how much you mean to mee...

All i do is think about you and your smile,
i think of you everyday
you make me smile, make me laugh and make my dayy...

you are the only person that i can relate too, 
your everything i want to be, but the person i will never bee...
all i do is think of youu..

your smile, your laugh, your personality..
is everything to mee..

All i doo is think of you <3

be you

people can be mean they can say the wrong things,

they don't think about what they say,

they just say it...

They think that all the words they say will not hurt and get to people,

but they do, they get to people more then they know,

If only the knew how it can effect people

one day they will realise 

because its been done to them  and they won't like it, 

We always get told to ignore what people say

but... it's harder then it sounds,

you have to make out like you not bother you  and it doesn't effect you but really it does...

But then you start to realise that people only say things to you because there lives ain't perfect,

But you must never stop being who you are..

you are you and no one can take that way form you, don't let anyone get you down...

JUST BE YOUU !! <3

Because you believed in me

for all the truth you made me see,
you gave ,e strength cause you believed..
in mee,

i lost my confidence you gave it back to me,
you stood by mee,
i stood tall...

i;m everything i am because you
believed in me,
you saw the best the was in mee,

you gave me faith cause you 
believed in everything i am...
i'm everything i am because you believed in meeeee 

because you believed in ME...

best of friends

Some things are different, some the same
Some turn over, some don’t change
Time and music all forgive
And in the best of friends the spirit lives

Set in motion by the ages
Crossing notions, makin’ waves
Two steps backward and three along
For the best of friends one more song.

The best of friends, the best of friends
For the best of friends one more song
(repeat) loud and ringing, high and low
Join the singing, let it flow

To the future from the past
Be the best of friends to the last

The best of friends, the best of friends
Be the best of friends to the last
(repeat three times)

Come together for the young
For your daughters, for your sons
Raise your voices and lift your hands

Be the best of friends while you can
The best of friends, the best of friends
Be the best of friends while you can

Come together for the young
For your daughters, for your sons
Raise your voices, and lift your hands
Be the best of friends while you can

The best of friends, the best of friends
Be the best of friends...the best of friends!

you and me

me and you are like each other in many more ways
you use to be like me when
you was my age, 
you told me you felt like me...

you can understand me, 
you listen to me when i need someone to talk to 
when no one else would listen to me...

you and me have to say good bye
it's so hard to say those words when you really don't want to,
you and me were always there for each other,
and now i know its time to say good byee...

me and you are like each other in many more ways
you use to be like me when 
you was my age,
you told me you felt like mee...

is it going to be me and you?
is it going to be me and you?
is it going me to be me and youu? 

if its love

If it's love
That would really explain it
How I feel like I'm covered in wool
If it's love
Then it's really exciting
My diary's become very full
If it's love does it matter
If I'm thin or I'm fatter

If it's love then it feels like I've won the pools
If it's love
Then it needs some devotion
And I feel like I'm walking on air
If it's love
Then I feel like I'm floating
Through my world without knowing who's there
If it's love someone slap me
Is this me that's so happy

If it's love then I'm laughing like I don't care
If it's love then my teeth are clean for a change
If it's love then that's why I am feeling so strange
If it's love
Then I need it forever
Like the beats that keep time in my heart
If it's love

Then I fall like a feather
I'm an egg in the teeth of a shark
If it's love I'm inspired
I'm up late I'm not tired

If it's love then my world is about to spark
If it's love then my teeth are clean for a change
If it's love then that's why I'm feeling so strange
If it's love love love love love love

If it's love love love love love love
If it's love love love love love love
If it's love love love love love love

feelings always talk to someone

please check out this video<3

feelings

Feelings....
sometimes we hate the way we feel but we have got to get through it no matter what...
there will always be people there for you, even if you think they  ain't they are...

i have gone through something lately and i thought that no one was there for me, that no one was going to understand and listen to how i feel...

Then i spoke to one of my teachers and she understood everything i was saying about how i felt, she was there for me when i needed someone to talk to, i know that no matter what there is always someone there for you ... even when you think there isn't...

you have got to stay strong not just for other people but for YOU...

feelings can be a good thing, and no one can tell you how to feel about anything, you feel the way you feel because something has had you feel that way...

just remember there is always someone there for you no matter what!... you should never hold in how you are feeling always speak to someone... i have learnt that <3

why don't people understand how i feel?

why don't people understand how i feel?...

I know it may be stupid how i feel sometimes but it's how i feel... But no one get's me, they just think it is stupid...

Why can't people just for once understand how i feel?,

I just want one person to say that "i understand how you feel or i know how you feel" it would mean loads to me knowing that someone does understand and won't judge me just because i feel the way i do...

i know i ain't the best person the get along with because i am always up and down, life wouldn't be life if you didn't have ups and downs but i wish i had more ups then downs...

No one understands how i feel because every-time someone asked me if i am ok i will say yes but they know that something is up, i only don't tell them because i feel like they won't understand and will think it is silly and stupid the way i feel...

if only there was someone i could speak to about how i really feel, someone who will listen to me and try and help me the best i can... I know that i am difficult to understand and get.. i do   know that but there are many other people like me that are hard to get and understand and you have to try to get us and not just say you will be ok...

I told you how i felt because i need someone to talk to and someone to listen to how i feel about things... 

why don't people understand how i feel?....

How i feel right now !

I know what you are all thinking...

I know that this may sound silly but to me its my everything...

I'm not good at anything else apart from writing..

My life is just strange and its full of different emotions i can be happy on minute and then i am sad for the rest of the day...

I feel like i have no one to talk to about how i feel because they may find it silly...

 I know i can be happy and be the person i want to be but right know it doesn't...

I've dreamed of being a skinny quiet girl for so long and i have finally realized that it's never going to happen if i am feeling like this...

Dreams can come true but will mine? will they ever come true? could they come true?....

The answer is maybe, my dreams may be able to come true if i work hard enough...

I have a very supportive family and friends but i don't really like talking to my family i don't know why but...

The only people i feel like i can talk to about anything is my friends and teachers at school....

I don't know how to stop me feeling this about everything but i really do feel like i am all alone and no one to talk to about it.. when i do talk to someone i don't think they listen to me and understand how i actually feel and what i am telling them...

i wish people would listen to me for once and care about how i felt and understood why  but i guess that is another one of my dreams that may never happen...

Don't hold in how you feel it will only make things worse.. 

xxxxxxxx

Okay i'm going to be honest with you!

okay so I'm sick being the one with no friends in my lessons, I'm always the one trying and I don'y want to anymore...

I'm sick of trying with you all...

Why is it me who has no friends in their lessons... Oh i forget nothing goes right for me... I'm always the one who is crying and being upset because i have no one to talk to in my lessons...

It may be my fault that i have no one to speak to in my lessons because there is always those people that always annoy me and i know that it is stupid to be like i am but i don't care if you don't like me then that's fine because i'm not worrying about the people that don't like me... 

I'm worrying about the people that i thought was my friends... I don't really know who to turn to, i always give other people advise but never take my own...

I wish there was someone who i could talk to who would actually listen to me and care about what i say but i know that, that is never going to happen... people will always not care about what i say and what i will be feeling...

I will always help anyone if they need help... if you feel the same comment and i will help you the best i can.. i'll always be there for anyone 

xxxxxx

I never believed in myself... do you?

Before i started slimming world, i never believed in my self... i thought that i wasn't good at anything and that i was always going to be fat and stupid....

But that wasn't the case... the first day i stepped in slimming world i was really nervous and scared because i didn't know any one there... i have never been to anything like it!, when our consultant first spoke to us i thought she is really nice.... i couldn't of been more right she was and is amazing she always listened to me when i needed someone to talk to...

The first week on a diet was amazing i felt really good... then before i knew it it was tuesday again and it was time to get weighted... i was really nervous when i stepped on the scales... i looked down and i seen that i lost 7lbs!!! in my first week half a stone in my first week i was made up....

When my consultant got to my name on her little monitor i put my head down never spoke and went bright red... i didn't know how anyone was going to react but they we all soo lovely and kind .... 

The hole point of my story is that you should always believe in your self no matte what you do... other people will always believe in you so you should too!!... i know it's hard to do then it is for me to say but when you don't believe in yourself, you don't believe in anything that you do and it probably  won't be as good as you can make it... you believe in yourself and the things you do will be even better...

I've learnt that when i started to believe in my self my work started to become better and i was getting higher marks and i still am i've gone from E's and U's to C's and D's in the space of year thanks to people believing in me and telling me they do  and believing in myself.... always believe in yourself and the things that you do!!! 

xxxxxxx

everybody hurt's

i have to share this song because it's amazing never fails to make me cry...

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
when you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
if you feel like letting go, (hold on)
when you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
when you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade)
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.) <3

a song about beauty

I know a place
Where the visitor always stays
Beauty runs 'em down
When they chance to cross that way
Through the night I hear that strain
Beauty's on my trail again
Try to run but my legs are lame
Through the night I hear the (strain)
Out on that plain

It's anybody's fault
Open up your heart
In pours the salt
Through the night I hear that strain
Beauty's on my trail again
Try to run but my legs are lame
Through the night I hear the strain
Open up your mind,
In pours the trash

Open up your mouth
And the lightning starts to flash
Through the night I hear that strain
Beauty's on my trail again
Try to run but my legs are lame
Through the night I feel the strain
Through the night, hear the strain
Through the night, feel the strain

song i did

I talk to you
You walk away
You're still on the down beat
You say you don't want my help
But you can't escape
If your running from yourself

I give you my love
I give you my love
Give you my love
Still you walk away

It's your own late show
As you jump to the street below
But where can you go
To leave yourself behind
Alone in the spotlight
Of this, your own tragedy

I give you my love, love, love
Love, love, love, love, love, love...

In the heart in the heart
In the heart of the city
Heart in the heart in
The heart of the city
Oh, love...
I pour my love out for you
And I'll bring you through
See your not alone

I give you my love, give you my love
Give you my love, give you my love
Give you my love, give you my love
Give you my love, give you my love
Give you my love, love, love
Love, love, love, love, love...

today i feel

Today i feel like i could slap you in your face.. i'v done nothing wrong..we fell out, was the best think that ever happened to knowing i don't have to worrie about you...

But it is killing me not having to... I'm soo glad i have all the friends i need... to help me get through life and that are always going to be there for me no matter what...

I feel like i have to care what other people think of me but i don't i am who i am and if you or anyone else doesn't like it then they don't have to be my friend...

I know i can be difficult and be Steuben but when it comes down to telling my friends how i feel... well i know who i can and can't tell... 

I will always care about what people think of me but that is only because i feel like i need to care...if i am going to make it through life i need to change the way i see people...

I may act all i don't care but i do.. i;m just afraid to show it...because you all may think i am being silly...

i will always be here for friends when ever they need me..

I will never ever judge my friends because they have never judged me... i am who i am and the sooner people realize that the better.. why is it that every time i try to be who i am not it doesn't work out...

Well may be it's a sign that i should always be who i am and not who i'm not...

never judge a book by its cover.... always be who you are not someone your not...

<3 

It's hard i'm finding it hard

I'm not for a minute saying i'm giving up,

but i am saying i'm finding it hard right now.. no one understands how hard it actually is...

You all may think it's easy and you may all think it happen's over night but it doesn't it takes time and effort..

you have to be prepared to do the work if you want this..

You will go through hard times.. you will push through them..

I've been in this position many of times and i have pulled through it.. it's not about losing weight every week its just about moving it forward when you can..

I'm not giving up i'm just struggling at the minute..

i just need someone to talk to and someone to help me..

but i think if i talk to someone i will get on their nerves.. 

someone please helpp!! thank you xxx

at the minute

My life at the minute is well confusing..

i will have ups and downs..

i would love more ups but life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to..

But at the minute i wouldn't change anything in my life right know, i have had the best work experience and i wish i didn't have to leave..

i loved it there and it was just amazing i could stay there for ever!!!...

School life is well going to be okay as long as i put the work in and i ignore silly people..

i want to make something of my life, i want to be the person to have the last laugh..

I will get there, i just want to say that my life couldn't get better..

I've had many downs but that's not that matters what matters is that you have people to help you through them.. and you have many more ups...

I wish i had another 2 weeks of work experience.. these past 2 weeks have just gone to fast :( please take me back <3  

going to miss you

i am really going to miss you, you are just amazing an soo perfect.. wish i was staying..

you made me feel soo welcome and i just love you to bits...

You have made me realize a lot of things and it's just made me even more determined to do this..

thank you for everything 

cant wait to see you again soon... going to miss you loads and loads xxxx<3

you mean loads to mee <3<3

my work experience journey

my work experience was the best i couldn't asked for a better set of people to spend it with they was all amazing...

but there four ladies that have been the best they have been there when i needed help, made me laugh all the time...

never judged me. i love them all 

really going to miss them all... i am also going to miss all the kids they have been great i love them millions... there so clever  

Wish i wasn't leaving going to miss everyone like mad... i had the best experience ever... wouldn't change or regret any of it for the world ..

thank you for making me feel so welcome and being so kind... 

thank you so much i am really going to miss you all <3