It's hard i'm finding it hard

I'm not for a minute saying i'm giving up,

but i am saying i'm finding it hard right now.. no one understands how hard it actually is...

You all may think it's easy and you may all think it happen's over night but it doesn't it takes time and effort..

you have to be prepared to do the work if you want this..

You will go through hard times.. you will push through them..

I've been in this position many of times and i have pulled through it.. it's not about losing weight every week its just about moving it forward when you can..

I'm not giving up i'm just struggling at the minute..

i just need someone to talk to and someone to help me..

but i think if i talk to someone i will get on their nerves.. 

someone please helpp!! thank you xxx

at the minute

My life at the minute is well confusing..

i will have ups and downs..

i would love more ups but life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to..

But at the minute i wouldn't change anything in my life right know, i have had the best work experience and i wish i didn't have to leave..

i loved it there and it was just amazing i could stay there for ever!!!...

School life is well going to be okay as long as i put the work in and i ignore silly people..

i want to make something of my life, i want to be the person to have the last laugh..

I will get there, i just want to say that my life couldn't get better..

I've had many downs but that's not that matters what matters is that you have people to help you through them.. and you have many more ups...

I wish i had another 2 weeks of work experience.. these past 2 weeks have just gone to fast :( please take me back <3  

going to miss you

i am really going to miss you, you are just amazing an soo perfect.. wish i was staying..

you made me feel soo welcome and i just love you to bits...

You have made me realize a lot of things and it's just made me even more determined to do this..

thank you for everything 

cant wait to see you again soon... going to miss you loads and loads xxxx<3

you mean loads to mee <3<3

my work experience journey

my work experience was the best i couldn't asked for a better set of people to spend it with they was all amazing...

but there four ladies that have been the best they have been there when i needed help, made me laugh all the time...

never judged me. i love them all 

really going to miss them all... i am also going to miss all the kids they have been great i love them millions... there so clever  

Wish i wasn't leaving going to miss everyone like mad... i had the best experience ever... wouldn't change or regret any of it for the world ..

thank you for making me feel so welcome and being so kind... 

thank you so much i am really going to miss you all <3

This is who i was and who i am

   

This picture is who i was and who i am today...

I have come so far and i'm not ashamed to show who i was before because that was the old me... 

People may think why has she put a picture of her self on here.. well i have put it up because i'm not afraid to show people who i was before and you shouldn't be either...

I am really proud of my self because i have come so far and i have gained loads more confidence and i am just happier and a better person then i was before...

This is me and who i was and who i am today..

people may hate me for who i am today but i'm not bothered because  me and my friends like me for who i am not who i was ...

I was bullied because i was fat, i cried all the time and let those nasty words you said get to me but now i know i am loosing weight and i have lost weight i don't need to listen to you and your nasty words, they are just words that will never ever hurt me.. sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me !!! 

 I am who i am today because i listened to all those words you said and they have made me a better person.. i am also who i am today because of four PERFECT ladies.. they are just perfect and have always been there for me and never judged me and have never said those nasty words that you said to me that hurt me...

This is me and if you don't like me then i don't want to know you  ... I know i am not perfect but i don't want to be perfect my friends accept me for who i am so you should as well and if you can't then carry on walking... 

This is who i was and who i am <3

why do i feel like i do about myself..

why do i feel the way i do about my self..

I'm sick of feeling like i should and need to change the things that all my friends love about me....

I wish i didn't feel like i `need to change about my self just because people don't like me for who i am...

If people don't like me then that's their problem not mine.. sometimes i feel like crying because you see people looking at you because you are laughing.. and you have a strange laugh, i don't want to be the person that people look at...

I cry about the way i am because i can't change who i am or how i am.. the sooner people realize that the better...

I love all my friends that always say i'm perfect the way i am but i don't believe them because they are my friends are obviously going to say nice thing's to me....

You will always get people that won't like who you are and will say things to you about that but if they don't like what your friends like about you then why should you bother with them...

I wish i didn't feel the way i do about my self,

it feels like i don't have anyone to talk to.. because i don't want to annoy them... i wish i knew who i could talk to ...

we all say and wish

we all wish that we was different...

we always say that we will change the thing we hate about our self's...

But why should we change the thing's that make us, who we are...

I've wished for a long time that i wasn't a loud bubbly girl who laughs at everything...

Then i think about it...

then i cry about it because i really want to change those thing's and realize i can't...

My friends tell me they love me being the loud bubbly girl who laughs at everything and they wouldn't change that about me, because they love me for who i am...

I've changed how big i am and i am still in the process for that... but i can't change my personality, i really wish i could but i can't...

We all wish we as someone different or we looked different..

we say we will change but we never do...

i just really want people to accept people for who they are even if they are big, small, tall, loud ,quiet... even of they are just being them i wish people wouldn't judge people for who they are...

People are different to you.. we all can't be the same if we was the world would be very boring...

people should accept people for who they are no matter what!!!!

NEVER JUDGE PEOPLE... !!!

last night

last night at slimming world... was well very different, i was very tired, upset and was just really weepy...

You was there for me when i needed someone to tell, you was a real friend... I'm sorry i wasn't my self..

i have it when i'm not being me, i always look forward to coming, and i still am...

All you people make me feel like i can tell you anything, 

yous are just fab, last night wasn't the best night for me.. i was really m self... you noticed and stood by me and tried to help me thank you...

Last night... 

well i can honestly say that when ever i'm upset like that again  i can always count on yous to make me smile...

but last night i didn't expect for you to notice i was weepy and tired and upset...

But you did and you tried and helped me thank you... you told me things that has made my week now...

thank you.. you never fall to make me happy again <3

I'm glad your gone!

I'm glad you gone...

You made me feel like i couldn't tell you how i felt,

because i thought you would get angry...

You had a go at me over something so stupid, I had to watch what i said to you... and how i acted, but i did that because you was my best friend.. i did that because i cared...

You said i never did anything for you...

When i did you but you just never liked to take, you made out like i was never there for you, i was always there for you...

We planed our future, But i guess we wasn't as strong or as close we thought we was.. I'm glad your gone, now your gone i don't have to watch what i say, or how i act around you...

You can say anything you want about me, I don't really care, if people are my friend they wont listen to you, and think you are just a silly little girl...

I'm glad your gone now my life is soo much better without you and i now know who are my true real friends are, who are always going to be there for me no matter what!.. unlike fake friends who just say they are but never are!.. 

My life has become so much easier without you in it, people told me what you was like i didn't believe them, i guess i should of, they gave me advice i didn't take it, i wish i did...

I'm glad your gone! ....

Don't forget! (my song)

Did you forget 

That i was ever alive?

Did you forget 

Everything we ever had?

Did you forget 

Did you forget

About me?...

Did you regret (did you regret)

Ever standing by my side

Did you forget (did you forget)

What we were feeling in side?

Now i'm lelt to forget 

About us...

But somewhere we went wrong

We were once so strong 

Our love is like a song

You can't forget it...

So now i guess

This is where we have to stand

Did you regret

Ever holding my hand?

Never again

Please don't forget 

Don't forget...

We had it all

We were just about to fall

Even more in love

Than we were both,

I wont forget 

I wont forget 

About us...

But somewhere we went wrong

We were once so strong

Our love is like a song

You can't forget it at all...

And at last 

All the pictures have been burned 

And all the past

Is just a lesson that we've learned

I wont forget

Please don't forget us...

Somewhere we went wrong

Our love is like a song

But you wont sing along, you've forgotten about us

Don't forget...

Too lost in you ! ( song i did)

You look into my eye's

I got out of my mind

I can't see anything

cos this loves got me blind 

I can't help myself 

I can't break the spell

I can't even try...

I'm in over my head

You got under my skin

I got no strength at all

In the state that i'm in...

And my knees are weak 

and my mouth can't speak 

fell too far this time...

Baby, I'm too lost in you 

caught in you

Lost in everything about you

So deep, I can't sleep

I can't think...

I just think about the things that you do (you do)

I'm too lost in you

(too lost in you)...

Ooh, Well you whispered to me and 

I shiver in side

You undo me and move me

In ways undefined 

and you're all i can see, and you're all i need...

Help me baby (help me baby)

Help me baby (help me now)...

Cos i'm slipping away

like the sand to the tide flowing in to your arms

Falling into your eyes

If you get too near

I might disappear

I might lose my mind...

Baby, I'm too lost in you 

caught in you

Lost in everything about the things that you do (you do)

I'm too lost in you (too lost in you)...

I'm going crazy in love for you baby

(I can't eat and i can't sleep)

I'm going down like a stone in the sea

Yeah, no one can rescue me 

( no one can rescue me )

Oooh, my baby

Oooh, baby,baby...

Baby, I'm to lost in you

caught in you

Lost in everything about you

So deep, I can't sleep, I can't think

I just think about the things that you do (you do)

I'm too lost in you...

I'm too lost in you

I'm too lost in you

I'm lost in everything about you

so deep (so deep), I can't sleep

I can't think 

I just think about the things that you do (you do)

I'm too lost in you

(I'm to lost in youu) ...

when thing's get tough

when thing's get tough... You should never give up, You should try even harder to get through it...

Thing's get tough for a reason.. They get tough because your obviously strong enough to deal with it and to get through it...

I know for a fact that if you give you up when things get tough, you wont learn how to deal with that problem if it comes back.. even if you can't get through it on your own and your finding it hard ask for help...

I was struggling at slimming world, i was scared to ask for help.. but i knew that if i didn't ask for help i couldn't push through it..

That's exactly what i did i asked for help they help me when ever i'm stuck.. or when i'm finding anything tough..

When thing's get tough... you shouldn't have to go through it alone.. you will always have people around you that will help you no matter how big or small that problem maybe...

I thought i didn't have people around me to help me get through slimming world when i'm struggling.. then i realized i do i have people there for me when i need help.. not just with slimming world but with anything..

So don't give up.. and don't think you have to go through anything along because you don't... even if its just commenting on here and asking for help.. i will never judge you .. i will always try and help you... just remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE.. <3

well then..

Well i was right all along you didn't want to be my friend..

you tried blaming me.. it didn't work...

I'm sorry that we ever became friends...

You was the best thing that ever happened to me..

now well you not..

I have all the people i need in my life that will listen to me and that actually cares about me, who will stand by me what ever happens ..

i don't need you..

i'm not going to come running back to you..

I'm done with you like you said your done with me

i've been doing great not talking to you..

i was just getting on with my life and not always being unhappy over stupid stuff...

that was the old me.. 

i've realized that all that matters to me is the people that love and care about me 

I'm glad were done <3

how i feel today!

today i don't have the smile i had the other day, no one can understand how i feel right now,

Today has been a real eye opener because it's made me realize how  much i want this...

But i feel down about it because i know i have to do it and if i don't i'm going to feel down and disappointed with myself because i never did it,

i know i have to do it, i know i can i have done it before, but i'm just finding it hard right now...

I don't know why but i am,

I don't know how to tell people how i feel about ti because they might find it stupid and pathetic...

But to me it's not its how i feel about it, i know that no one can help me but myself... I have very good friends that i can talk to about it, but they don't really understand me...

I'm going to stay strong and push through it, I'm going to do what ever it takes to do it, even if i find it really hard i'm going to push trough it and think why i'm doing this.. 

I really want this more then anything in the world and if i want it i'm going to have to try my hardest to do it, even if it kills me i'm going to do it...<3

my dreams!

my dreams are just to be me when i can..
my dreams dreams are to be skinny and have a nice tan..
but life can't be perfect..
but my dreams will come true i will be skinny and have a nice tan..

my dreams..
my dreams are to be a happy girl that everyone sees...
to be the bubbly lively girl that people go on about but its not always good to be loud and lively i know that because people are always telling me to be me and that i'm perfect the way i am but then they ask me to be quiet...

i can't help being the loud bubbly girl and i'm not about to change that.. yess i have changed the way i look and i have lost weight but that doesn't mean i will change my personality...

my dreams are to big to come true all at once so i'm going to take baby steps and take it slow..
i will not change over night!!

my dreams..
my dreams may sound funny to you but there not to me when all have out own dreams and they are mine..
i'd love to be able to change how loud i am but i can't so sorry..

my dreams will come true i will work for them ! i can make them come true <3

hey you!

stop being so hard on your self,you are perfect the way you are,stop wishing you looked like someone else or people like you as much as they like someone else...

stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you, stop hating  you body, you face, your personality.. with those you are who you are, with out these you wouldn't be you...

and why would you want to be someone else, be confident with who you are, smile, it'll draw people in, if anyone hates you're happy with your self, then hold you head high and carry on being happy...

my happiness will not be dependent on others anymore, I'm happy because i like who i am,

i love my flaws,

my imperfections they make me who i am...

just a year ago you was stranger now your my best friend

how can you go from being a stranger to someone i love and care about..

well you have been there for me no matter what.. you've never judged me never told me i was something i'm not...

When i have needed someone to talk to you have been there i can tell you anything...

you are supporting me through a tough time and have supported me through some...

why?

I ask why because i don't understand why you have been so kind and understanding with me..

most people will just say it's fine you okay.. but not you, you was just a stranger who didn't know anything about me, didn't know what i was like.. or how i felt..

but now just a year later you do, you know everything about me and know how i feel...

you believe me in even when i don't, you have made me realize that it's not about loosing weight every week it's about making better choices and living life..

you was just a stranger..

now you have done more then a best friend would of done..

I'm going to carry on making you proud of me..

I believe in myself more...

just a year ago you was a stranger now you my best friend.....

tonight

Tonight has been amazing, it was soo funny...

I made you proud like i said i would,

You was soo kind to me and it was just beautiful all the words you said to me..

It meant a lot to hear them..

You mean the world to me.. you always make me smile..

Tonight has been great you have all be just soo supportive with everything i have said..

If only you knew how much you all mean to me..

especially three special perfect ladies, They are just perfect and they have been great to night.. 

youse three have just said the most beautiful words tonight and have just lifted my confidence this week..

I'm going to make you three perfect ladies soo proud of me this week.. im going to do what ever it takes for me to get the weight loss i want..

I LOVE THE BONES OF YOU 

tonight has just been beautiful and perfect <3

Disappear

Disappear
I remember the first time
But it wasn't the last time
That you told me that
You'd take me back
So I'm still wondering why
It was ever a question
I should have learned my lesson
I keep coming back
Like a heart attack
That's always breaking
I can't let you vanish
There's no magic when you're gone

You say you don't need me
You say, "this time believe me"
I'm not gonna let you disappear {disappear}
I don't wanna hear it
I don't wanna believe it
I'm not gonna let you disappear {disappear}

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Disappear

I don't wanna be lonely
But you were always the only
One who cast a spell
And made it feel
Like all of this was real
Nothing but an illusion
But I'm not gonna lose ya
So just do your trick
And make it quick
Cause I'm pretending
I can't let you vanish
There's no magic when you're gone

You say you don't need me
You say, "this time believe me"
I'm not gonna let you disappear {disappear}
I don't wanna hear it
I don't wanna believe it
I'm not gonna let you disappear {disappear}

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Disappear

Don't go
I can't let you vanish
There's no magic when you're gone

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Disappear

You say you don't need me
You say, "this time believe me"
I'm not gonna let you disappear {disappear}
I don't wanna hear it
I don't wanna believe it
I'm not gonna let you disappear {disappear}

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Disappear {disappear}

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Disappear {disappear}
Don't go, disappear

Tuesdays!

I love Tuesdays..

Tuesday's i get to see all my lovely slimming world friend's..

They have all been amazing...

Tuesdays are funny, amazing and just the perfect day for me and the best day in my week...

I would not change Tuesdays for anything in the world..

Tuesday's are where i have the best laugh ever! 

My slimming world friend's mean absolutely everything to me...

They are always there for me no matter what, always listen to me when i'm upset about something...

Tuesdays..

I really look forward to them because they are full of fun!

No one could change the way i feel about them

I also look forward to seeing the best three people there at slimming world...

Tuesdays are when i can relax and have nice chats and if i've had a wobbly week i can speak about it so i can get help...

Tuesdays are where my REAL friends are ..

I love Tuesdays and wouldn't change them for the world<3

i guess i was wrong

I guess i was wrong..

your suppose to be my best friend always there when i need someone, There for me when people let me down..

i didn't expect you to do the same as me..

 I thought i could trust you, i guess i was wrong...

A real friend wouldn't do what you have done, I now know who i can trust and who i can't and your one that i can't trust...

But i can't hate you forever... you have been there for me, helped me throw so much..

you crossed the line every time i see that i will just cry in anger...

It may sound stupid to you but its not to me... I know you never meant anything by it... 

I'm just sorry i was wrong , i never thought that you would do this... do what i did...you have opened my eyes and made me realize that REAL friends wont copy... 

I guess i was wrong...

you and me

you and me...

We are similar in many different ways,

We like the same music...

We like the same clothes , we both like the same type of style's...

When we have an argument with someone we never give up

We always get our point across..

we never let people walk all over us...

We've fell out once and it was the worse time in my life..

you and me are perfect best friends,

We go throw everything together...

We are always there for each other no matter what..

Were both perfect in our own way, you and me...

where would we both be if we hadn't found each other

i couldn't get throw life with out you i will always be

saying you and me.. <3

Favourite videos (playlist)

demi lovato everything your not <3

just the way you are

oh, your eye's, your eye's , make the stars look like they're not shining, your hair, your hair falls perfectly without you

trying your so beautiful and i tell you everyday (yeah)

I know, i know when i compliment you, you wont believe me and it's so, it's so sad to think that you don't see what i 

see, what i see, but every time you ask me do you look ok

i say

When i see your face there's not a thing that i would change cause your amazing just the way you are, and when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while cause girl your amazing just the way you are

your lips, your lips i could kiss them all day if you'd let me, your laugh, your laugh you hate but i think it's so sexy she's so beautiful and i tell you everyday

oh you know, you know , you know i'd never ask you to change it perfects what you're searching for then just stay the same so don't even bother asking if you look ok you know i say..

when i see your face there's not a thing that i would change cause girl your amazing just the way you are and when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while cause girl your amazing just the way you are...

slimming world kfc chicken

slimming world kfc chicken is like proper kfc! try it !

all you need is:

• smash 
• chicken breast
• 1 or 2 eggs 
• you choice of seasoning (bbq, chicken,ect) 

preheat your oven to 200 degrees.

first you crack the eggs in to bowl or a small plate... then put the smash on to another small plate... add your choice of seasoning to the smash and mix it up... secondly you put the piece of chicken breast in the egg make sure it is covered then place it in to the seasoned smash.

do that to all the pieces of chicken . spray fry light on to a baking tray and place the chicken on it... then finally put in the oven until its golden and brown and the chicken is cooked right the way through.

oh,thinking about our younger years 

there was only you and me,

we were young wild and free...

now nothing can take you away from me 

we've been down that road before 

but that's over now...

you keep coming back for more baby you're 

all that i want when you're lying here 

in my arms i'm finding it hard to 

believe were in heaven...

and love is all that i need and i found 

it there in your hear is isn't too hard

to see were in heaven...

oh once in your life you find someone

who will turn your world around

bring you when you're feeling

down...

Nothing could change what you mean

to me, oh there's a lot that

i could say but just hold me now

cause our love will light the way...

i've been waiting for so long for

something to arrive for love

to come along now out dreams are

coming true through the good times and the bad..

i'll be standing there by youu.. <3

I actually know i am beautiful now and stay strong!

it's mad to think that i am who i am today...

just a year go i was always upset, tears always steaming down my face... because of all those nasty words you said

you made me feel like i was just a nobody that no one wanted to know,

That i wasn't beautiful or worth it, 

i believed you .. i listened to all those nasty things you said...

I really thought that i wasn't good enough  for anyone, and that no one wanted to be my friend...

I went home crying every night, i hid all those tears away from you, but i couldn't hold in how i felt any longer...

It was killing me knowing that you thought i didn't care what you thought of me.. when really i did, that was all i could think about and that is all i thought about day and night...

I wish i didn't listen to you , you was totally wrong,

people did want to know me, wanted to be my friend..

I am worth it and beautiful and i don't have to hide how i feel about anything no more, i also know that i don't have to care about what you and others think about me..

I only have to care what my friends think of me.. not what you or anyone else thinks,

i know i was stupid to believe what you said to me...

but i had no confidence, i thought that all those things you said was true...

Now i have confidence in myself and i can say i do look beautiful when i look in the mirror...

now all i want you to do is believe in me and take back all those things you said .....

nails

my hobby

These are my nails i love to do nails all different ones acrylics or just painting them with a pattern or just plain.

it's fun and it makes me feel relaxed...

its a good hobby to start and the more you practice the more better you become...

I've learnt that it doesn't matter if they don't turn out perfect because it's all about practice...

I've been doing nails for a while ..

when i first started out i wasn't that good and the more i've practiced the better i have become...

i'm still not perfect and things still go wrong but i know that i can fix it next time and not make the same mistake.

if you like doing nails then i think you should do them more often and try all new designs and don't be scared to try 

new things to do... That's how you find new ways 

of making your nails have your own stamp on them...

Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you like to do...

always follow your heart and do what you want to do 

<3